Wellness with Child by Katie Wilson

Before I had my first child, I thought I knew everything I needed to know about my wellness - I had had some issues, but I worked hard to change the worst parts and I had learned a lot about myself. I took yoga classes, hiked in my spare time, loved cooking complicated meals, made it a point to be a good friend, volunteered in my community with organizations I loved, and even served as an elected official in my small town. Then I got pregnant and I didn't feel great - no glow, a lot of crying, feeling useless at my job. I was sad, all the time. When I went to my doctor to talk about it - I was offered anti-depressants and a metaphor about a bus being happy. I didn't buy it, I didn't want drugs, and I didn't want to be a bus. So I did the only things I knew how - I went to yoga class every week even if I didn't want to. I met other pregnant women who I didn't know. I went to women's support groups. I found a great therapist that specialized in childbirth - she had been a midwife before becoming a counselor. I tried to eat healthy. I spent a lot of time talking to my partner about the future. I had a friend organize a big blessing way - that is what hippies call baby showers. Truth be told, once I had my daughter, I started to feel better. I spent time with her and my partner. It was just starting to be spring and I was able to get outside a lot. I was able to not go to work and just spend time with my baby. I still felt stressed (how could I go back to work and leave this beautiful little person?) and exhausted (who has even heard of sleep with a child?). It really was the start of a whole new life for me and my family. I had to rewrite everything I knew about my own wellness. The responsibility I feel for my daughter and spending time with her outside of work is so strong that I have put a lot of things on hold. This is a choice I have made for myself. As a mother of a young child, I feel like we need each other so much. I know that time is waning and I will be able to pick up all those things which I love but aren't compatible with a little person as she grows. In the meantime, there are a lot of things that my daughter loves that I have learned to love, too, or re-learned. We go swimming together, read picture books, and spend time at the playground. We run around and pretend to be bees, flapping our wings and buzzing. "Be a bee, mommy. Be a bee." So for now, I'm a bee.