Between You and Me: Informed Choices by Gina Calhoun

Before being hospitalized for long periods of time, grocery stores in my town were relatively small and choices were rather limited.  When I came out of long-term hospitalization, grocery stores had grown up.  Many stores today sell food, make-up, cleaning supplies, pharmacy items, and choices are practically unlimited.  In this environment, choice can be an overwhelming experience.  For this reason, going to the store to buy food was, and still is, a complicated process for me.

One day, a key supporter named Kenny decided we would tackle the grocery store challenge together to buy food for a meeting we were co-facilitating.  Once in the store, he looked at me and said, “I have six items on my list.  I will go get the top five.  You go to the chip aisle, get a large bag of chips and meet me at the register.”  Having accomplished his mission, he found me in the chip aisle shaking, having difficulty breathing and with people staring at me.  

Let me tell you first what Kenny did NOT do.  He did NOT say, “What's wrong with you?” Grab a bag of chips and escort me out of the store.  Instead he said, “Hey Gina, what's happening?” (What's happening in your environment causing you to feel the way you do?).  I looked at Kenny and said, “There are way too many chips in this aisle.  I can't make a choice. I don't want to make a choice. You choose a bag of chips and let's get out of here.”  Kenny said, “No. At this point it doesn't matter what bag of chips you choose. It matters that you make a choice.”  

To this day, I have no clue what brand of chips I chose, but I remember this: Sometimes it is not a matter of making the right choice, it is a matter of recognizing you have the right to make a choice.

I hear some readers saying, “Hey wait a minute.  Sometimes the choices I make toward wellness have significantly greater consequence than choosing a snack item.”   Let's move on to one tip for making informed choices.

In relationships, new possibilities leading to new information occurs in the space between one person and another. Listening and sharing differing perspectives with trusted supporters is the gateway to choices and options.  We often consider the answer is within us and sometimes that's true.  That said, when we are asking ourselves over and over  “What should I do? What could I do? I don't know what to do?”  

Remember this: Between you and me are many possibilities!