Unconditional Regard – What Does That Mean?

Valuing Ourselves. Grace for Others, Self and the Process. Part I

By Jenn Cusick of Luminate Wellness

From the Values & Ethics Check List:
“Individuals are treated as equals with dignity, compassion, mutual respect, and unconditional regard.”

I'm going to spend most of this article on “unconditional regard,” because I think those words can be unpacked and pulled apart in a deep way. My words are not meant to give you final answers, but to instead, to encourage you to ponder what this means to you, and how does it play out in your life and work.

Co-Facilitation:  I believe that honoring the Values & Ethics with our co-facilitators is equally as important as honoring the participants in our groups. Sometimes it can be more of a challenge to hold up the values and ethics with co-facilitators than with the people in our groups, especially if for some reason the two of you don't click. That just happens sometimes.

This is the way my mind processes this topic. I encourage you to think about this both in your way, and to bring it up with your colleagues and teams to process together.

What does unconditional regard mean to you?

I'm going to pull out the good ole' dictionary for this.

Unconditional (adjective)
Not limited by conditions;
Absolute:

Conditions are expectations that I am required to meet in order to earn the respect. For example: your love and respect are conditional on _____ and _____. Fill in the blanks with whatever: being on time, service, work it could be anything.

Since we are all human beings, and in the very nature of being human is flawed, how can we possibly meet this value and ethic? Is it possible in our brokenness to not let our “stuff” get in the way of unconditional regard for others?
I am going to be very bold here and say that I do not think it is possible to do this without a lot of work - deep, ongoing, mindful and very personal work. Love is a word that gets over used in our culture, but essentially “unconditional regard” is love, is it not? When we strive every day to build an ongoing daily practice of accepting people with unconditional regard, embracing grace, and love, it becomes easier to transcend past our flawed nature.
 

When we learn to accept ourselves as being worthy of love, and worthy to give love and accept others (despite their flaws), it gets us so much closer to really understanding and honouring unconditional regard. With time, it gets easier especially when we humbly accept when we have work to do.
 

The next installment will cover my thoughts on potential ways we create a practice of holding others with unconditional regard.

To contact Jenn:  [email protected]